World Cup 2026
Belgium Threatens to Rename Madrid “Sud-Charleroi” Ahead of Quarterfinal
Emboldened by the successful annexation of Seattle, the federal government has informed Spain that a Belgian victory on Saturday would trigger the immediate reclassification of the Spanish capital as a Charleroi suburb.
Belgium Officially Renames Seattle “New-Brussels” Following Historic World Cup Humiliation
In a move no treaty apparently forbids, the federal government has claimed territorial naming rights over the Pacific Northwest city after a 4–1 demolition of the United States in the Round of 16, played, gloriously, in Seattle itself.
Stray Match Ball Still Lodged in European Commission Façade; Building Condemned
The ball, struck during a public viewing on the Rond-Point Schuman, has not moved since Saturday. Engineers say it is holding the building up.
Engineers Lower Giant Waffle Over Atomium “for Morale”
A 40-metre fibreglass waffle appeared on the Atomium overnight, installed by a group calling itself the Order of the Gauffre.
