A team of sports behavioural researchers at the Université libre de Bruxelles, commissioned by FIFA to determine the origins of Argentina’s pattern of post-match violence, has abandoned its study after the timeline extended past 1930 with no identifiable starting point.
“We were asked to find the moment it began,” lead researcher Dr. Émilie Vandenberghe said. “We started with last night’s final, the throat grab, the punch on Rodri, the two red cards. Then we went back to the semifinal against England, which had to be refereed like a cage fight. Then the 2024 Olympics in Paris, where there was a brawl after the quarterfinal. Then the 2024 Copa América, where players were filmed singing racist chants on a bus. Then the 2022 World Cup quarterfinal against the Netherlands, which produced eighteen yellow cards and scenes that violated the Geneva Convention.”
She paused. “Then we reached the 1966 World Cup, where Argentine captain Antonio Rattín refused to leave the pitch for ten minutes after being sent off against England, and a teammate was nicknamed ‘El Animal’ by the British press. We felt this was significant. Then a colleague found incidents in the 1930s.”
The study’s methodology involved cataloguing every documented instance of Argentine football violence at major tournaments and plotting them on a timeline. The researchers expected to find an inflection point, a tournament, a match, or a coaching change, that marked the beginning of the pattern. Instead, they found a flat line.
“There is no beginning,” Dr. Vandenberghe confirmed. “The line is flat because it has always been there. Argentina did not become violent. Argentina has been violent. The world has simply been expressing surprise on a four-year cycle, which is itself a pattern we intend to study next.”
The team compiled a partial list of post-match brawls involving Argentina at major tournaments. It runs to four pages. A fifth page was reserved for incidents described in match reports as “handbags,” a British euphemism that the researchers note “consistently understates what actually occurred.”
FIFA has not responded to the study’s findings. A source within the organisation said the report had been “received and filed,” a classification the researchers interpret as “placed in the same drawer as the 2022 racism complaint, the 2024 Olympics disciplinary file, and every other document that arrives after the tournament is over and the revenue has been counted.”
The researchers’ final recommendation reads, in full: “We recommend that FIFA cease commissioning studies into the origins of Argentine football violence and instead commission a study into why anyone is still surprised by it. The data is conclusive. The only recurring mystery is the reaction.”